August 18, 2008
It's a Bird, It's a Plane...It will POKE Your Eye Out!
Dear Tourist Lady at the Air Show this Weekend,
I have a few questions.
1. Why does one grow their nails that long?
2. Do you dip the whole nail into a bucket of paint to paint them?
3. How do you paint your toenails?
4. Do you have someone button those very tight jeans?
5. How do you scratch an itch of any kind?
6. Or 'clean up' after a visit to the bathroom?
7. Does someone have to wash your hair?
8. Do you use something else to punch buttons on the microwave?
9. Do your nails mostly scare kids or fascinate them?
10. Will I see you in the record books?
11. How long does it take to grow nails that are almost a foot long?
12. Does it scare men away?
13. Is your jewelry 'stuck' there?
14. Does it scare you when you sleep that they will get caught in the sheets?
15. What about opening car doors?
16. How do you wash dishes?
Listen ma'am, I mean no disrespect, but having had fake nails--sports length-- there are things I cannot wrap my brain around.
I am certain I am not the first to ask.
A very curious co-tourist,
at 11:06 AM